So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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