left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
