yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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