Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
