what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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