Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
