Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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