he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
