"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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