If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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