there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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