So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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