That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
