i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
