Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
