well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
