i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
