Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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