Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
