we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
