I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
