she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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