It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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