Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
