Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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