The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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