I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
