16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
