And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
