Plan B is the new Plan A
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
