how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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