god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
