then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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