help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
