I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
