Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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