I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
