Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
