i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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