im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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