If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
