In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
