Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
