Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i came on her dog
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
