so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
