that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
