called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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