C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
