remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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