We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
