Dual....:-)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
